What your position says about you

Disclaimer: This post is in no way serious. It is meant to be fun and make you smile. 🙂 Please do not feel offended. Stereotypes are wrong more often than they are right, but it is a lot of fun to play with them. But I bet everybody has at least once wondered what his baseball position says about his character.

Also remember that baseball is a team sport and every position is crucial for a team’s success.

Every position has different aspects to it and certain requirements. Some positions are more sought after than other and receive a lot more recognition.

I guess we all know the arrogant pitcher who thinks that he is much better than everybody. Maybe your best friend plays first base and constantly falls asleep, because he has nothing to do. Then there is the center outfielder who is a complete jerk, always jumps around like crazy, tries impossible catches and prides himself over his ability to throw further than anybody on the team.

Maybe you see yourself or your mates in this short description above. Baseball of course has a lot more positions, so let’s take an in depth look at what your baseball position on the field says about you.

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Catcher

You are the boss of the game. Yes you read it right. If you are the catcher, you run the game.

You probably have the most important position on defense. You call the pitches and if you do not perform, you can destroy your team’s performance. So if your coach trusts you with this position, you are one of the cornerstones of the team.

Probs to you my friend.  You are the leader on defense.

Pitcher

“Yo I am sooo good. I play pitcher only in high school.” Shut up. Never say that shit.

First of all it is a lie. If the coach let’s you play pitcher only in high school, he needs to be fired.

Second of all, it just makes you look like a massive prick. Which you probably are, as you say you play pitcher only.

If you nevertheless do it, it actually just means that you are a pussy. Once the ball is in game, you basically have nothing to do. You give away all responsibility. Pussy. Man up.

First Baseman

Lose some weight bro. You are probably the biggest person on your team and losing a few pounds would do you some good. Moreover you do not really have much action at this position, so you lose focus most of the time.

Only when a fellow infielder messes up a throw, you might have to perform some crazy stunts to catch the ball.

But hey, don’t worry. Defense is boring anyway. And everybody knows, that the coach let’s you play first base because you suck on defense, but you can hit like a god. So just ignore the times you are on defense. Your star shines bright as soon as you have a bat in your hands.

Second Baseman

Hell yeah. The wanna-be shortstop baseball position. Everybody knows you would much rather play as shortstop, but let me be honest: You just suck at throwing. Sorry to tell you, but everyone on your team, especially your coach, knows. That is why you play second base. You just cannot throw far enough. And you are most likely too lazy to change that…

Shortstop

The baseball positionholy grail , where everybody wants to play. This also explains, why you are most likely a douchebag if you play this position. You most likely also think that you are by far the best player on the team. Maybe you are, but most likely you are just an arrogant prick. Or your dad is the coach.

Your job is it to make sure that the third baseman stays at his position, because you want him to. You run the left side of the field. At least that is what you think.

By the way, when was the last time you have replaced your arm sleeve?

Third Baseman

The shortstop will not like it, but you at third base could easily also be playing shortstop. Most likely you are also one of the biggest guys on the team.

You would be the result, if first base and shortstop had a baby. Not that this is likely to happen, because biology. But I guess you know what I mean.

You could also be described as a less fit outfielder, as you are required to throw far, but you are just too fat for athletic jumps or sprints. But hey, it is fine. Third base does not require running, so you are safe.

Now comes the outfield. There is not really much to say about you guys out there, except for that nobody really cares about you much. You are standing most of the time and then sometimes, if you get the chance to catch a ball, you mess it up.

Wow!

Center Outfielder

You are basically the shortstop of the outfield. You think you run the defense. And you know what? You actually kinda do. You cover a great amount of space and you are down for some crazy athletic jumps. Sweet stuff. I am proud of you.

Just stop being a douche and telling everybody how far you can throw. Seriously. We know.

Left and right Outfielder

I am sorry to break it to you, but nobody cares about these positions. Seriously.

But don’t worry, I got a tip for you. Practice. Practice a lot. Improve massively. And then go play at a different position.


Okay. I hope this post has not lost me your love. I can only stress again, how this is a fun post and not serious at all. Well except for the part about the outfielders…

Get home safe,

Jan